Adam Bird


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Monday, 16 July 2007

A Tale of Two Brides

Steadily creeping up on us, and here before we know it are the two 'weddings of the year'. The first one, this Saturday, will see our good friends Mark and Nicola become Mr and Mrs Pattision, followed by Jessica and James the following week.

Mark and Nicola having been together for nearly as long as Stephanie and I have, and it is going to be a real pleasure watching them become husband and wife. I said it about Will and Olivia when they got engaged and it applies too with Mark and Nicola, some things are pre-destined and meant to be.

For Jessica, she will be marrying James, her true knight in shining armour, who came along when she least expected it and has become a model husband in waiting and a father the girls can be proud to call Daddy.

Mark and Nicola's wedding will offer Stephanie and I the first opportunity to see first hand one couple in our circle of friends get married, and over the next 18 months will be joined in holy matrimony by Mr and Mrs Buckby and Mr and Mrs Wickens. We have all pretty much, since school grown up with each other, and various landmarks in our lives have been done in or around each other, which is hardly a case of follow my leader, but a group of peers growing up, growing old and doing the things that every other 20 something couple or group of friends are also doing.

Not only will Mark and Nicola see the first couple out of our circle get married, it will also see the first best man's speech, or in this case the best men's speech as responsibilities are going to be shared by Gareth and Stuart. I am sure that they must be nervous as hell about giving a speech in front of so many people, but luckily for both of them they are not on their own and if anything does (not that it will!) go wrong they blame the other one!

The wedding day is obviously all about the women but I am glad that Mark has stamped a little of his influence over proceedings with the reception at Gillingham Football Club! I am looking forward to hopefully grabbing a five minute wander onto the Rainham End and warm my seat up ready for the new season! Mark has suggested that we see if he, Reaso and I can have a photo of the three of us perched on our seats, which will be awesome if it happens, and will be slightly strange all suited and booted!

Stephanie, Oliver and I would obviously love to take this opportunity to wish Mark, and Nicola the very best of luck for their big day, and their future together.

Having not been to a wedding since I was about 14, it is ironic that I would end up going to two weddings on consecutive Saturday's! Only one week after Mark and Nicola tie the knot, my baby sister will become Mrs Shovelar, and fulfil her dreams of a beautiful pink wedding.

Weddings are emotional occasions, at least if you are a woman, I have never really understood why myself, but I think I am going to find out at Jessica and James's wedding! Seeing your little sister getting married by your uncle in a church packed full of people with strong religious vibes even if you are not that religious yourself promises to be quite an event. Not only that your girlfriend is going to be dressed to the nines in a bridesmaid outfit looking every inch the part!

Jessica, without doubt knows how she wants her wedding to be and everything has been arranged to her specification - pink! Cars, cakes, balloons, dresses, table cloths and tiara's are all a variation on pink! It promises to be a colourful extravaganza with no stone unturned!

Jessica and James's wedding promises to be a real wedding to remember, and I am really looking forward to all the family getting together. I cannot remember an occasion where all of Mum's side of the family and all of Dad's side of the family have been in the same place! Good job that we all get on!

It goes without saying therefore that Stephanie, Oliver and I would love to wish Jessica and James the very best in your future lives together as Mr and Mrs Shovelar. I am really proud of my little sister ,who had turned into a fine young woman and an amazing mum. It is also going to be a great pleasure officially welcoming James into the family and having him as a "bruvver from another muvver"... or something like that!

Monday, 9 July 2007

"Never in a million years"

After last weeks story about new footballing sensation Oliveria Birdinho, certain rumours have been flying around linking Oliveria with Arsenal FC.

These rumours allegedly pertaining from both Grandma's whom claim to be Arsenal fans and are constantly attempting dirty tactics in an effort to wind up the male contingent of the Bird Family, in particular Oliveria's father Adam.

Oliveria said (if he could) "to link me with Arsenal is a disgrace, I love my grandmothers dearly, they look after me, feed me, change me, but to suggest I would don the red shirts of Arsenal is nothing short of blasphemy".

In an attempt to silence his mother, and mother in law and protect Oliveria's integrity, Adam today is releasing a computer generated image along with the following statement "please take a look at this picture, download it, print it and put it in your purse, because it is the first and last time Oliveria will ever appear in an Arsenal shirt!".

Image: Never in a million years

Oliveria's grandfather David was unavailable for comment, but is understood to be equally disgusted with these rumours.

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