Adam Bird


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Thursday, 28 August 2014

Two's Company, Three's Proud


When Stephanie and I discussed children, our magic number was always and never any more than two. We were blessed with a beautiful blue one, and a pink one completed the set. Our lives were happy and content, until a recent late night bum squeeze under the covers turned into something a little more energetic, which is where we find ourselves once again... at the beginning of another nine month long adventure.

Oliver had a code name, “Baby Bird”, Phoebe was imaginatively labelled “Baby Bird 2”. Our as yet unborn third child has been given, the (perhaps unfair) moniker of “Oops”. Which, in the event that he/she reads this in the forthcoming years is a term of endearment (we promise), but we won’t hide behind the fact that when we do eventually meet he or she, it will be behind the eyes of a blessing that we never expected.

Inevitably, I guess, when something happens that catches you by surprise is a sense of denial and perhaps a sense of regret that we’d done things differently, not at all or whilst wearing safety equipment. But I’ve always been a believer in things happening for a reason, for a purpose defined not by me but a greater force that knows the greater meaning of things and that we are to face the challenges head on and reap the rewards of successfully overcoming them.

Which is why when Stephanie told me the news the only answer I could give was a shrug of the shoulders and mutter “oops” as there wasn’t anything more I could possibly add, no consoling words would change the situation and a show of enthusiasm would have been in stark contrast to the vibe at the time. Stephanie being the more emotive of the pair of us had a moment or three and needed a period of reflection to allow the news to sink in.

During our discussions on adding to the flock we always tended to look at the negatives; less room, need for a bigger car, holidays would be too expensive, we’d be ancient and past it by the time we were grandparents, five is an odd number and other such trivialities. My belief is that our continual focus on the negatives was the cause of Stephanie's initial reaction. It wasn’t that we never not wanted another child, we had simply prepared ourselves for the probability of not having any more.

Now that we have had the time and sense to digest the news, the worse our initial reaction is beginning to look. I’ve found myself looking at Oliver and Phoebe in a different light, more closely and analysing their personalities, behaviours and achievements. Every success they have, we have that to look forward to all over again. Even the naughty and annoying things like Phoebe colouring her legs in with felt tip pens - it will happen. It will make us cross, but even writing the words brings a smile to my face as in the cold light of day its actually quite funny!

But like all great trilogies, the biggest anticipation is for the final chapter. In a funny, roundabout kind of way, I’m actually more excited about meeting Oops then I was either of the others. Oliver was new, exciting and a leap into the unknown. Phoebe was a return to familiar territory, but this time, with that sense of inevitability about the conception, the fateful sense of serendipity and the ultimate feeling of reaching a definite conclusion I can’t actually think of a better way to bring the curtain down - they’ve certainly got a lot to live up to!

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