Adam Bird


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Tuesday, 15 May 2007

Birdy's Bognor Hen Do - The Official Story

Adam has told me many times that I should write my own blog. I have always enjoyed reading Adam's - his thoughts and feelings have always put a smile on my face. Waiting for the right topic/subject, the time has now come for me to write my own blog titled - Birdy's Bognor Hen Do May 2007 - The Official Story

When Adam's sister, Jessica, announced that she was getting married, she asked me to be her Maid of Honour. I was shocked, honoured, privileged to name a few feelings. I felt like I owed her something and the only way I could see was to arrange the best Hen Weekend that she would remember forever.

Jessica decided that an adult only, 70's weekend at Butlins in Bognor Regis was the place to be. So after a few weeks of working out who was coming it was booked.

It wasn't until the middle of April that my sister, Carly, said to me "Have you started to sort out the itinerary?" I didn't even know what that meant. I had to arrange rules, forfeits, games and decorate a veil. I remember thinking how on earth am I gonna do all that with working full time and looking after Oliver!

I was determined that Jessica was going to have the best veil in Bognor. It took about a week to make sewing on all of the decorations such a sequins, bows, condoms, L - plates, glitter and of course the bright pink glittery flashing willies to go on top just to finish it off.

With the veil made and our bags packed 20 young girls head to Bognor. You could say that the first day was a bit of a disaster. Me, Jessica and Carly left later than intended - Sophie's tyre burst whilst driving down the M25. It was chucking it down with rain. Bridesmaid Jade was feeling unwell and Bridesmaid Gemma was running really late after being stuck at work. With all these things in tow, it was still a great night.

The rule for the night was 'left hand drinking only' unless of course they were left handed and they then had to drink with their right. Kerry told me that she was left handed but still now I'm not too sure if she was telling the truth or if she was just avoiding the forfeit of wearing a penis on her head! At some point that night I sat down and looked around and watched the girls they all seemed to be having fun and taking part in the games and forfeits. It put a smile on my face, all that hard work had paid off.

The night finished in the early hours of Saturday morning and everyone was looking forward to going to bed. Many of the girls including myself have young children and were all hoping for a night of uninterrupted sleep and a lie in. This is where the plans went pear shaped. Our rooms were below and in front of the noisiest people in the world singing and shouting all through the night.

With the lack of sleep many of the girls stayed in their rooms and slept during the day knowing that the main 70s night was ahead. Most of you know that I have been dieting for the last 2 months and I was determined that I would not put any weight on over the weekend so my sister Carly and I decided that we would walk into town to find a supermarket to buy dinner. As we exited the resort we saw a train, for a laugh we paid our 70p, jumped on and made our way towards the town. The train only took us 500 yards along the sea front and dropped us off. It was hardly worth it but at least we had an experience. Morrisons shopping bags in tow filled with pasta we walked back to the resort, made dinner and got ready in our 70's gear.

I must mention at this point that all the girls made such an effort. Some brought and even hired outfits. I think that out of all the people out on Saturday night we were the best dressed group. So thanks for the effort girls you did Jessica proud!

We were all ready by half past 6 and made our way to the first bar, Jessica was told that she must complete one of her tasks before entering the bar. Digging into her bag she pulled out her harmonica!!! Jessica had to busk - playing her harmonica until she raised enough money to by herself and a hen a drink. I was so proud of her - she raised about £6 in about 2 minutes. Those 2 minutes will be my most memorable moment.

Her next task was smacking as many men's bums as she could (with a special bum slapper) from one bar to the next. Following that there was getting a piggy back ride from a stranger, biting ankles of strangers and downing drinks. Jessica completed all of her tasks with no complaints and generally just went with the flow.

Slowly as the hours passed hens were going home and all that was left was Carly, Claire, Toni and Myself. What can I tell you? We danced the night away with the occasional visit to the bar to refuel ourselves, eventually making our way home about half 2.

The other hens were up and chatting in the rooms because yet again the people behind us were making so much noise they couldn't sleep. I couldn't tell you what time we eventually got to bed!!!

Sunday was a bit of a funny day. Over half the group went home due to other commitments which only left 8 hens. We all went to the pub for a Sunday roast and dessert. Me eating my boring jacket potato and beans I can still smell Jade's Syrup Sponge pudding - even now writing about it my mouth is watering!!!

After our big fat lunch which soaked up the previous nights beer the 8 hens went around the arcades, looking in the shops and buying pressies for our children.

By Sunday night the weekend had caught up with most of us. We stayed in and drank plenty of wine with most of the hens going to bed at half ten. Jessica came to mine and my sister's room. My sister unfortunately was feeling unwell that evening but had perked up by the time Jessica made her appearance in Unit 4. We were up chatting until 2:30.

At half 9 on the Monday morning we were all packed and ready to go home. Carrying our cases to the other side of the resort in the rain was a bit of a mission but what made it worse was my sister's car not starting!!! Cutting a long story short after a visit to Kwik Fit we were on the road just after noon and arriving home at 2.

I now need to sum up. But before I do I would just like to quickly mention Hen Sarah who unfortunatly could not make the weekend- Sarah if you read this I hope that you enjoyed your box of memorabilia and I wish little Louis well, you were missed by all.

Finally, I would like to thank all hens for coming, Jade and my sister Carly for helping me arrange the weekend. Without you I couldn't have done it. But most of all I would like to thank Jessica for giving me the honour of being her chief bridesmaid - I hope I did you proud and gave you a hen weekend that you will never forget. I know that I wont!


Anonymous said...

excellent blog, when can I arrange your hen do!!!

Adam Bird said...

Well, Stephanie and I have always said that I am to propose when Gillingham win the FA Cup.

Hoping that 2008 will be our year!


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