Adam Bird


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Tuesday, 17 August 2010

Cheesy Quavers!


In a nightclub, on the dance floor. The room is packed and just ahead is a giant screen showing Mel Gibson in Braveheart running across the mountains of the Scottish Highlands. Had a bit too much to drink, but not so that I'm not enjoying it, I'm smiling slightly insanely. The speakers are playing at full volume. The classical soundtrack of the Braveheart soundtrack mixed in slightly with a beat. It gives it a dancier edge, I know I'm in a club, not the multiplex. It builds up, the pictures on the screen change. William Wallace has stopped running. He's lying down. Dead in a minute. The music draws out. Lights Out. It's Dark. Quiet. Left wondering what the hell is going on. Know it's gonna go mad in a minute. It does. William Wallace shouts out "Freedom" the music starts up and it starts up quick I'm jumping, dancing wildy at the same time four hundred gallons of foam flies out of a cannon hanging from the ceiling, I've lost my mates, can't find my hands, I can't no longer see and at that moment I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Welcome to BCMs, Magaluf, 1999!

With all the planning and arrangements finalised ahead of September 11th, I can finally start to look forward to my "last night of freedom" held on the hedonistic party capital of the Balearic's, Ibiza!

When I say, "finally start to look forward to", I meant this rather loosely. I have been really, really looking forward to this since February when we booked it, but with the wedding plans now out of the way, my excitement levels can now go from supersonic to hyperdrive!

I have wanted to visit Ibiza for as long as I can remember. It must have been around 1996 when we went to Kavos with the family and I had my eyes opened to a whole new world of boys holidays, boozy nights, awesome music and (cough) girls. The fact that I was violently ill as a result of this early experiment didn't put me off, but gave me a bigger desire to leave for foreign shores without the restriction of my parents overly policed curfew.

Ibiza at the time was right on my radar with breakthrough trance songs such as Insomnia by Faithless, Children by Robert Miles and Professional Widow by Tori Amos. There was also a tv programme, Ibiza Uncovered which was one of the first type of "Fly on the Wall" documentaries that gave British holiday makers such a bad name oversees - even if, at the time I thought it was great fun and wanted to be a part of it!

It wasn't until the new millennium that the real Ibiza obsession started. Harry Enfield and Kathy Burke had created two great comedy sketch characters, Kevin and Perry in Harry Enfield and Chums. The popularity of the two led to a feature film being made and "Kevin and Perry go Large" was born. The film itself, a funny tale of two teenagers wanting to become "deejays" and "pop their cherries" wasn't the inspiration, but the quality soundtrack and awesome scenes shown within the nightclub certain were!

Since then, for whatever reason, Ibiza has never been a viable destination, not all of the guys are dance music fans, so not necessarily a suitable choice for a lads holiday, nor I'd imagine would Stephanie have enjoyed a holiday out there doing a week or two of what I wanted! With the stag weekends we have had already the lure of cheap flights, cheap beer and cheap accommodation has proved to be a success time and time again.

I've been lucky, hands-up and I admit that! I said to Gareth, this is what I would love to do, lets see if it's viable. Most people when told Gareth is my best man just offer a raised eyebrow and a wry smile, knowing Gareth is who he is, but he has been awesome for me, which I say now, as I don't quite know what he has planned for me when we are there!

Staying at the Ibiza rocks for three nights, we have the chance to savour and enjoy all the sounds on offer. Superclubs like Amnesia, Eden, Space, Es Paradis and Pacha beckon, names synonymous with the White Isle and the music that has defined it.

It will be a stag do slightly different to what we are used to, wanting to go to a place that isn't everyone's cup of tea comes with great responsibility, getting the right mix between doing the things I'm desperate to do, whilst ensuring that those who don't are suitably inebriated to be beyond caring and trying to get everything within everyone's budget. The big clubs in Ibiza certainly aren't cheap, so we'll have to tailor our nights to ensure we get the best value for everyone.

Whatever happens, however different this stag do may be, the usual ingredients will apply, camaraderie, laughter, ruination of the stag's dignity which I will do my utmost to keep intact. Whether it be a spine chingling moment orchestrated by a DJ that has you eating out of his hands, or walking to the local bar in just our pants, we'll come back once again with yet more memories that will keep us talking for years to come - and I for one just cannot wait!


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